The Beautiful Truth is a Sorrowful Thing.

And even after the prettiest smile, the kindest words, the understanding eyes and the strong shoulder to lean on, sometimes the determination to rot down and wither away is more powerful that than the Light that flickers on and off daily through the cracks in the heart.
Here lies the truth.  My mind is made up. The decision has been made. I am just waiting for the correct Timing to execute the truth.

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The Power of Kindness

Ah Kindness what a simple way to tell another struggling soul that there is love to be found in this world.

In a world where negativity is consistently being felt in our lives and the struggle to fight  away the demons of pain in our soul , we almost feel lost and the light that we most desperately search for is no longer available.

When we feel as though we can’t carry our heavy burdened body through life anymore , we search drastically for happiness in whatever form it comes in and most of the time we want it to be delivered to us in big ways.
But what if Kindness could be the answer to washing away all of our pain and negativity?
Do you ever remember a time where someone held a door open for you? Or a stranger with a friendly smile who helped you with directions to guide you in the right direction? Do you remember what that felt like? That feeling of receiving Kindness in the most simplest forms?  It sends warmth and love throughout every fiber in ourbody and creates a tiny moment of happiness.  If more human beings across the globe went through their everyday lives with the mentality that they can change the world by enacting small amounts of kindness  Like a smile, a compliment , hugs or even a listening ear to a stranger who may look like they are going through a bad time, our negativity would feel less worrying.
Kindness has this extraordinary power to transform our mind and soul. Once we taste the slightest amount of it, our soul busts with happiness and love that we cannot help but smile . It reminds us that we are not alone, and that someone cares. If we just took the time to understand how Kindness, no matter how small or large its delivered ,can nourish and heal the heart and soul, the world would most definitely be a little bearable to live in.

Choose to be kind. Choose kindness because deep down you know it will touch the most darkest hearts in the most positive way.

If you are reading this now, and your thinking of ways you can spread kindness, please know that kindness can be delivered in many forms, but it is the smallest acts of kindness that will have the greatest impact which paints our heart and mind with the vibrant colours to create the perfect picture of happiness.

All it takes is one simple ‘Hello’ or handshake to ignite a soul again. Or a random conversation about the weather to the lady beside you on the bus. Its a smile with ones eyes to remind us that we mean something to them and are loves , even if it’s just for that split second as you look at them.

When negativity creeps in and we are finding it difficult to change the channel in our minds, always look to kindness to fill our hearts with positivityand happiness.  We must create happiness through kindness every second of everyday.
And after everything that is said and done in this world, it is always so wonderful to know that behind all this negativity in our mind and in our world, Kindness will always be available to make us feel like some one out there cares.. because we do care. Whether that kindness comes from a friend , a family, a therapist , a doctor, a stranger on the street or even a dog. It’s always there. Thankfully it is. Do not ever be afraid to create moments of magic and happiness in ones life through kindness. We need as much Kindness in this world as possible. Kindness is the focal point of happiness. Always remind yourself of that daily, and always remember to be kind to yourself because how else can project to others if you cannot feel that empowering positive feeling yourself.

In world where you can be anything , Be kind.

Be the Kindness in this world
Trust me , it will save many souls.

 

 

 

In A World Where You Can Be Anything, Be Kind.

Thursday Evening,  Miserable Rain and a destructive mind, I stood outside in the rain with my head tilted towards the sky , while the rain latched onto my tears and drained to the ground. I could not stop the tears or end the thoughts in my head, there was no light to find my way back to the surface and the thread in which I was hanging on to so desperately had be cut away from the sharpness of pain. I could no longer Live. I went inside drowning both in rain water and tears and curled myself into an agonizing ball. I had no more energy to stand tall and place a plaster on my pain. I just had enough energy to type a goodbye letter on my phone, and to take out my old Stanley knife in which I pressed against the skin on my neck.
The one person who I needed the most could no longer hold me up together, or listen to my cries and thoughts, and that hurt so deeply. But I understood. I understand how difficult it is to constantly be that shoulder to cry on, and well sometimes it becomes unbearable.
Alone I lay with the mind chatters in my head and a desperation to leave for good. I was so close to give up,  but fear stepped in once  again and I questioned whether or not this was the only option.
I Knew there was one person who could help. One who is recently going through a very bad time at moment also. I knew she would convince me not to do it or else take my mind off all the pain. I picked up my phone, an typed the message ‘I don’t Think i have a thin thread to hang on to any more, please tell me I’m Not the Only One. It’s So easy just to give up’. My tears dropped onto the screen , and when I tried to press send , the water was was not allowing my thumb to press send. I thought to myself maybe this is God’s way of telling me to give up, that there is no help and no other option. With my last ounce of energy I pressed the send button again. It sent! My plea for Help was sent. Within 2 minutes my friend replied. ‘Don’t you give up on me, Breathe breathe, breathe breathe …….’
I won’t go into too much detail , but what I can tell you is that for nearly 2 hours, she stayed on the phone with me, and with every text she sent she gave me pieces of hope, little by little. I don’t think she understands that, that night she became a hero and saved a life. She saved my life. I went to sleep knowing that I could make it true to tomorrow as I had made her a promise to meet her and talk. She know’s I can’t break promises, never have I ever broke  a promise.

I didn’t sleep a wink that night fearing that I would have a nightmare of something that happened in my past or my thoughts once again being seen in my dream as so realistic. So I stayed awake, and wrote, and cried, and walked down the canal after 4am in the morning practicing my breathing.

I was still awake when my phone vibrated again and had seen that my friend had asked me how I was feeling that morning. I was honest. I am always honest, I can never be dishonest with people who I care about. She immediately then told me that she had bought me a book called ‘ The Celestine Prophecy’ to try help my mind escape from life, for even the slightest amount of time. When I read this text message I broke down in tears, I felt this huge weight lift off my shoulders. My soul had lightened a little and a Smile had made its way onto my face.  We Spoke for hours about how kindness , No matter how small or big can bring huge amounts of happiness to a soul. I obviously experienced this happiness from when she bought me the book. While my friend  was telling me all about her projects and her own personal experiences I could feel my mind gradually healing. I could see the thread getting a little bit stronger, although the pain still remained inside of me it was slightly numbed.

We arranged a time and place and I counted down the hours while I was reminding myself to stay brave and not cry.
I managed to get lost along the way, typical of me I know!  I knew I was going to get lost! I always either get lost in my mind or down a street so that feeling of being lost became very familiar for me.

My friend again came to the rescue and led me along the right path with her. I smiled straight away when I seen her. That relieved feeling that I was safe and that happiness was soon awaiting me around the corner.We came across an America Couple who were obviously lost , and were need of direction. A bit like myself I must admit.  She asked the couple do they need help with directions and once the directions were delivered the American Woman’s reaction was the most heart warming funny responses ever! She shouted ”yesssssssssss, I knew it”and looked back at her husband. He didn’t seem too pleased but it was nice to see the woman act that way, it made my soul laugh and that all came from my friend being kind in helping some tourists.  We also shared a very obscure coincidence where I had only hugged a homeless man that Tuesday and she has engaged with this man also on several occasions. Anyway that crazy moment needs more observing but that is for another day.

We continued our way down the road which lead us  to the park. We sat down in the most magical places I have been lucky enough to see. And as I  gazed around in admiration I began to feel extremely emotional knowing that If I had of ended my life that night previously I would have not received the opportunity to see the beauty in this incredible place.
Myself and My friend spoke about life & Kindness and Her projects she was doing.  It was only when I got home that night that a thought had crossed my mind. While we sat there and spoke, I did not feel compelled to spiel out all my emotions and cry every last tear into her hands. I didn’t feel depressed or anxious or lonely. Yes,I didn’t feel myself, but I felt this positive energy forming around me. I just wanted to listen to her story and her kindness, and her ways in which she reminded me that there is kindness in this world , and I smiled each time she spoke of kindness or positivism. I felt so alive listening to my friend that I did not want to speak of all the negative emotions that were haunting my soul. And I was completely happy knowing that. Every time I am in her presence something in my soul shifts and I cannot help but smile and feel content with life.

As the evening came to a close we walked back into town, we laughed over Michael McIntyre and she shared more stories with me like How her eye contact project was a huge hit! I felt so much admiration for my friend when she spoke of everything. Every word, or idea she had or has is entirely focused on helping other peoples lives feel that little bit better. She goes through her ever day life with the mentality that she will change the world and make it a kinder place, and she is! She is changing the world with every smile she gives, with every compliment, every hug or every random act of kindness. She is Mother T!

I began reading the book she had bought for me, ‘The Celestine Prophecy’  and I became very emotional, not because of the fact that the book was so intriguing but the fact that someone knew me so truly that they knew this book would be a temporary solution to my Permanently ill mind.  By knowing that another human can know that something will help, makes me believe that someone understands me. And I cannot express how much that means to me.

I am Hooked on this book. It’s beginning to put the pieces of puzzle that were missing in my mind together.It’s giving explanation for the way I feel and think. I could write pages and pages on this book but this post is only focused on my friend and her kindness.

If I thought she could not get any more kinder, she proved me wrong. She only went and carried out the best thing ever! And I mean that! What she done is the most kindest , sweetest act I have ever received. EVER!
She asked me today to tell her a couple of my favorite quotes , and so I did. I didn’t think much into it, I just assumed that If I ever began to hit rock bottom and can no longer think of anything positive again she would remind me of my Favorite Quote.

A few Hours had passed and she had sent me this Photo…

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I was just on my way home from Coolock after watching my partner in crime play a big game, and this message came through ‘Don’t Zoom into this photo until I tell you the story behind it. So the reason I asked for your Favourite Quotes is because I wanted to create a (my name) Inspired Trail Of Positivity today and send you the photo’s. This one is special because as I was trying to take the photo the tag kept blowing around. A random man stopped and held the tag for me so I could take a photo. This is that photo. Now Zoom in.  

There wasn’t a drop of rain that landed in Dublin today and I can honestly say the tears that I  shed when I seen this message could water every flower in Dublin.  My heart was repaired. I was extremely overwhelmed that I began to Hyperventilate while smiling at the same time. I didn’t know what to say, but I most certainly knew what this emotion I was enduring was. It was happiness. And It meant the world to me. It touched my heart so deeply that it too was crying with happiness.

She sent on more and as you can imagine I could not keep the smile off my face. It was the best feeling ever.

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When you Can be Anything in the World, Be Kind. My Friend is the definition of Kind. She could chose to be anything in this world. She has a tough life, a very very tough life and She could be selfish, she could be greedy, she could be stubborn, not interested, quiet or rude. But she chose to be special, to be unique, to be understanding, to be loving and giving. She choice to be Kind. She understands how Kindness can nourish and heal the heart and soul, no matter how small or big. But the one Thing that makes me smile and means the most to me is that she choice to be my friend.

 

In world where you can be anything , Be kind. 

She is the Kindness in this world.

 

 

Find what it is that makes you Grow

There is one  aspect in our lives that every single human in this world has in common.Something that allows some of us to understand us so deeply that we can just feel the vibes  off them. That aspect is darkness. Nearly every person who  crosses your path ,either intentionally or un-intentionally will have witnessed the pure sharp feeling of being in darkness.  They will have felt the cut of pain, and heard the hollow echo of loneliness. They will have seen the exhaustion and cries in your eyes and will have understood why damaging your very own body and soul was the only means in which you knew would keep you alive. They Understand. And through understanding follows connection.

What a powerful emotion to be able to connect with another human. To allow yourself to feel vulnerable knowing that your soul and wounds are on show on top of  a stage with spotlights picking up every bruise, sweat, scar, blood and tear. To allow your eyes to connect with another like two magnets immediately clicking together, to allow yourself to feel the connection.

To sit in ones company, with not a word to say while the silence is  its way of displaying connection, and it is the most indescribable feeling.  And it’s at this time that  true realization hits hard on the mind, and everything makes sense.

We must find something in our lives that enables us to grow. Just like the prettiest flower in a meadow; it once was small and worked ever so hard to make itself strong and tall, knowing that each time someone or something will come along and either stomp all over it, or pick it up throw it away or too much rain would drown it . Suddenly after all the damage It realized that to survive it needed sunlight to grow strong again
Connection allows me to grow.
To find a connection in something or someone sends happiness flowing through my blood and I cannot help be feel thankful that someone out there in this big bad world understands me and can immediately develop a connection with me.

Today I connected with a homeless person on Church Street. He Looked into my eyes , I smiled and asked could I give him a hug. With big Hearted Smile, and a tear in his eye he said ‘yes please’. For that split second, he felt loved. I felt loved too.

To connect makes you feel like you matter or mean something to someone. That’s all that anyone needs to feel in order to keep breathing.

Another Day in Paradise

‘Another Day in Paradise’ and i cannot not help but roll my eyes towards the roots of pain and remind myself that paradise comes in many forms. It must. Struggle wraps itself around my body every day . Exhausted from the pain, the loniless anxiety and fear. Actually Exhausted is an under statement.  But its the thoughts that roll back and forth like the tide which makes life that bit unbearable.  I wonder if paradise can be seen from a mountain top or under the ocean?

 

I just have to keep reminding myself to dig deep, but one foot infront of the other, deep breathes and the rest will follow.

Boundaries

To be Loving, Caring and Giving are three of the most compassionate emotions an individual can give to another Soul in this world. Receiving these emotions also have a profound powerful impact on ones life.
Sounds Good right?
But just like everything in life, too much of something is not good for ones health.
Proving too much love can allow the other person to feel as though it’s lost it’s novelty. It’s like when you tell someone you love them 20 times a day, the next time you say it to them they will question whether you really meant it or was it just words coming out of your mouth. Giving too much often leads to individuals consistently taking all the time, or worse always expecting you to give, and when the time arrives when you cannot fully give your time and attention , their true colours immediately are known. Caring too much, although it is a beautiful bright sight, it also has it’s dark side. Like Giving, caring too much will majority of the time portray the selfish characteristic in ones personality, which automatically leads to one word …’Advantage’. They start to take advantage of you. They expect you to care for them during their dark days, without taking into consideration that your mind, soul and heart may be stuck in the middle of your very own storm.

And Before you know it your trapped inside the palm of their hand, were they have the ability to grasp onto you so tightly and can control every aspect of you, from the way you think or even to the way you live your every day life.  As human beings we begin to question ourselves ‘How could I let this happen?’ . You see it’s important to acknowledge this one perspective: When you began to stop showing these three emotions every hour of every day, the individual who once was receiving your emotions will not like this one bit, so they began to treat you like you are the worst person in this world . They indoctrinate your brain and make you feel guilty. They make you feel ashamed for not consistently showing love and affection. They were sure that you did not care or love them when you did not give them all of your time. And with each word that sharply barks out of their mouth, it eats down on your soul, and suddenly realization hits like a thundering wave – ‘They are right! I am an awful selfish person’.

This is how the process works, this is how they make you feel that constantly being the shoulder to cry on, or the problem solver is the ‘norm’.

It is not fair or right to treat a fellow human being this way. To receive a small amount of love and care would make my soul burst with happiness. I know this for a fact.

I must admit that I know I have been taken advantage of the past 17 years, but I just did not have the solution as to how to stop this.
Today the solution became very clear to me: Boundaries.
By creating boundaries it will not divide individuals apart, it will quite simply bind one another closer together.

Boundaries are extremely difficult to create. We have become so addicted to giving, caring and loving, that when the phone rings we must answer it so our ears can be drowned with the worries and pain from the individual at the other end of the phone. We become so addicted to loving, that we continue to show elements of love even we are being abused to the very core with insults and vulgar words, and we become so addicted to ensure that we do no endure the feelings of guilt that we offer our care 24 hours a day, while we watch our life freeze on stand still. In away having these addictions make us feel alive in our mind, but realistically it is rotting our heart and will eventually result in us feeling dead.

We fear boundaries because we do not want to create disappointment or hurt amoung people, even if that means we get hurt in the process ourselves.
There needs to be a line, a line that very clearly distinguishes what is Ok and what is not. I myself, must learn that I can Still give love and be generous but still have boundaries. To make everyone benefit, be pure and happy boundaries must be in place. Yes, I know at times we want to save the world, but how will that end? You will have given no care or love to yourself, and you deserve that!
Boundaries simply protect me, so that i can keep giving my heart and time to people without it getting broke time after time again. Setting boundaries will save everyone.

I must learn this. I must learn to put myself first because how am I expected to love and be kind to others if i do not give love and kindness to myself. I must learn to say ‘No’ or ‘ I can’t answer you phone call right now mam, I am sorting my own mind out’. I must learn that I cannot take the weight of everyone’s thoughts worries and pain on my shoulders because it will just lead me to falling from exhaustion and I will not be able to keep moving forward.

It’s important to remember boundaries cannot just be made overnight, you have to build yourself up, 5% at a time.

 

Boundaries are what Bind people closer together.